What Is Sex Therapy? Shame, Intimacy Disorders & Pleasure | Dr. Shannon Chavez

Most people think sex therapy means Masters and Johnson-style homework or uncomfortable demonstrations. Dr. Shannon Chavez explains what it actually is—and why sexual concerns are rarely about sex at all. 

They're about intimacy, attachment, and learning to feel safe in your own body.

In this conversation, Dr. Chavez walks through how she approaches sexual shame in therapy, why the body keeps score even after physical pain is resolved, and how she helps patients with vaginismus reclaim pleasure through mental rehearsal and nervous system work. 

We discuss compulsive sexual behaviors not as addiction, but as intimacy disorders rooted in early trauma and attachment issues. She explains why the sex-negative addiction model has created more stigma without success, how porn is designed to overconsume just like social media, and why healing starts with understanding what pleasure actually means to you.

We also talk about how young men are learning about sex entirely through porn with no other education, why AI companions are amplifying isolation and intimacy issues, and how sex should feel like play and creativity rather than another responsibility on your to-do list.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

● Why sexual shame is learned behavior, not something we're born with, and how acceptance is the opposite of shame.

● How to distinguish between healthy sexual desire and compulsive behaviors that indicate distress.

● Why porn is designed to overconsume just like social media doom scrolling

● How many young men have learned about sex entirely through porn with no other education about intimacy?

● What pleasure literacy means and why most people can't even define what pleasure means to them personally.

● Why self-soothing skills are missing in people with compulsive behaviors and how to develop them

● Why sex should feel like play and creativity, not another item on your responsibility checklist.